Remember Magda, Mary’s lovable leather-skinned best friend in There’s Something About Mary? She was a cartoonish reminder of the outré esthetic that kept us baking in the sun slathered with baby oil and iodine, Magda was a holdout for the days when a gal could never be too tanned.

Fast forward a few decades and thousands of hours of research, and the whole idea of sunbathing on purpose is right up there with a self-inflicted stabbing. It was fun while it lasted but now it’s time to learn to love the skin we’re in.